My Achilles Heel..The Bathroom

I clean it, it gets dirty.

I scrub the tub, the children have pasta for dinner and leave an orange ring. I scrub again.

I mop the floor, Nugget has a pee-pee spill that looms out of the toilet. I mop again.

I sweep the floor, Nugget and Meatball walk into the room after lunch or dinner trekking the cheerios or mac-n-cheese that stuck to their shirt. I sweep again.

I hang a hand towel, the children wipe their hands and it falls on the floor. I hang it again.

I clean the sink, my husband brushes his teeth and leaves spit marks around the bowl. I scrub again.

I clean the toilet, my husband seems to miss and leaves drops around the ring. I clean it again, Nugget leaves drops around the ring. I clean it again, daycare boy misses and spreads pee around the seat. I clean it again.

I change a diaper, the dog pulls it out of the waste bin and pulls it apart. I clean, sweep and mop again. By the time that's done, someone has pooped again.

Repeat the above steps.....every day of the week. I ask the bathroom gods, "Will my hosue ever be clean?"

To Cute For Words

So, I have to gloat, not about my 2 pd weight loss that I've been working hard on (no diet secret here, just exercise and eating right, yuck), or the perfect check-up my two sons got at Dr. Cohen's, or the fact that Nugget is officially, that's right officially, a diaper-free potty trained toddler, =), but about how cute my little one looks in his new underwear. To on lookers it might seem strange that I'm talking about my son in underwear and not about the successful potty training that I spend two weeks blogging about, but I can't help it. Seeing his cute little butt in underwear that are just a tad to big, they don't make 24 month old underwear, unless I'm not looking in the right spot, is more gratifying than seeing his pee-pee in the potty.

Due to my husband's desperation, and harsh threats, I've opted not to post a picture of his cute booty in his Handy Manny and Mickey Mouse underwear. But I can't tell you how much I wish I could. If you could see his little toosh you'd want to bite it. Seriously. And, up until yesterday's talking to, I'd shown all of Dr.Cohen's staff, my mom friends at the library, the woman upstairs, everyone who can receive a picture message in my address book, and of course a few pictures on my camera to which I plan on sending to my family and my husbands. Today, so I can blame the time on happening before my husband put his foot down on not exposing our son, I'm uploading the camera pictures and sending them off to my in-laws. I can just see my mother-in-laws face, not amused. Inside it makes me giggle. I can't help it, after all I've spent several blogs just talking about my immaturity, so she can't be that surprised.

For Nuggets first Christmas card, I chose a delicate, yet characteristic photo of my little man baring all. Trust me, I'd spent weeks finding the perfect Christmas photo outfit, gone down to the beach for the perfect 'we live on the beach' Christmas shot, listened to a neighbors instructions and drove to Fortunoff to take a picture of him in every display possible, and even ruined my friends antique irreplaceable ornament taking pictures of him in front of her picturesque tree. But ultimately I favored the side of immaturity and chose a favorite picture of mine, Nugget standing next to the tub, flinging his towel into the water. His little dimply butt exposed to the world, and his face revealing a devilish side. I loved it! 100 of my friends and relatives opened their holiday mail to my son's bare-all pre-Chippendale photo. My mother-in-laws response, "They're going to arrest you."

So now, as I prepare to send her my son's new covered Handy Manny bottom, I can't help but smile and wonder what she'll say when she calls. But more importantly I can't wait for my husband to loosen his hold so I can drop my sons pants to the floor, sharing with everyone my son's cute new butt covered underwear. Ahh, its the little things that make you proud to be a mom. Man how I wish I could show you!

Mom-stincs

Being a mom has taught me may things, but I think one of the most important things is that I have the power to follow my own instincts and know what to do (something I need to remind myself the next time I talk to a billion moms in the library or spend hours googling something).

Last week I slipped on everything. I have to tell myself it's okay, otherwise the rest of the week will go downhill from guilt. Diet, negative, Movies, negative, Reading, negative, Writing, negative, Potty training, negative. I could give myself the excuse of the monthly visit that wiped me out, made me binge on Nutella and pretzels, caused me to be short and irritable with my husband, and slacked on encouraging my son to use the potty. But as of Saturday morning I was going to put it all behind me.

When Nugget was 5 months old I decided to switch him from a bottle to a sippy cup. I put water in it and let him play with it. I added formula from hoping to entice him. And, when all of the frustration of trying hit me, I got it. Why am I playing games with a bottle and sippy cup? If I want him to learn something shouldn't I just do it? Wasn't all the switching confusing him? How was he supposed to learn what I wanted him to do if I wasn't consistent with what I wanted him to do? So one morning I woke up, but my breast milk in his cup and sat patiently on the couch while he played with the sippy cup spout and figured it out. By the end of that day, he'd gotten the concept and I packed up the bottles for good. It was as easy as that. Done in a day.

The same theory hit me Saturday. If I'm telling Nugget to use the potty, bringing him back and forth, and screaming and yelling when he goes, but then I'm putting him in Pull Ups and Diapers from time to time how was I showing him what I wanted him to learn? So, just like I learned with the sippy cup, I whipped the diaper off his bottom the second he woke up and kept him 'naked under his pants' (that's what my horrified mother calls it)and let him figure it out on his own. Was there accidents? Sure. But by Sunday, the next day, we had not one. Not only did I leave him without any protection I let him feel for himself when he needed to go and when he didn't. I no longer asked if he had to use the potty. I no longer set a timer and remind him when to go, though I did tell him when I was using the potty to see if he wanted to go with, which he did, I let him tell me when he had to go, and I let him go by himself. I no longer went in with him and stood watching him go. He did his business and tell me to come 'look' when he finished. The independence seemed to inspire him more, and by the end of the day I was confident, just like with the bottles, that I'd done what I needed and Nugget 'had' the concept.

If we're finished with accidents and potty setbacks I'm not sure, but today we're on our way to but underwear and diaper free days. And all because I trusted my instincts and took the enabler mom routine away. If only getting myself in this routine could be that easy. I'd have me play finished in no time.

A Sticker In And Out Of The Diaper

As a potty reward Nugget and my daycare boy get a sticker and an M&M. This is a great incentive for them.

And as of this morning I realized its a great incentive for Meatball, my 8 month old, as well. Changing his dirty diaper I noticed something on his bottom. I wiped, but it stuck. I wiped again, still stuck. I touched it, pulled it, and then peeled it off. What was it? Oh, just a dog sticker that Nugget had received yesterday and proudly placed on his shirt.

Apparently my little man got hold of it and decided he could use a reward as well.Funny how the acids in his stomach didn't damage it at all.

All You Need Is Pee

"Mommy, I poop on potty."

These five glorious words were the first ones my son utter this morning.

"You have to use the potty!"

"Yeah," he smiled, proudly running to the bathroom to sit on his throne.

And sure enough, there was pee. A lot of pee!

"I'm so proud of you," I beamed.

Inside I thought, this is it. This was my boost to get me back on track after a non-consistent potty day, due to my exhaustion and lack of motivation, yesterday. We're back on track, and taking one day off didn't impact my child as much as I worried it would.

I still never got around to looking into any of my potty training books, donated from authors who I've written articles on, or searching the Internet for potty training tips, and I still don't have much energy to tackle the potty again today. But I did find out why potty training for me might be a little harder than others, despite training two kids at once and dealing with an 8 month old who screams and carries on every time I put him down to put his brother on the potty, I've kept the potty in the bathroom, have gotten both boys to use the adult potty (easier clean up)but I have to pick them up to put them on and off every time, and taken all diapers and pull ups off leaving them "naked under their clothes," as my mother referred to it in horror yesterday.

"Your crazy," Baby Guru told me. "Put the potties in the living room, keep their pants off and let them go when they need to go."

In theory this sounds much easier. No trips carrying them over the living room gate, no on and off the potty, no on and off of pants, and extra laundry trips for the accidents, and no work on my part at all really, besides a little motivation, reminders and treats trips. But there's something about a potty on my living room rug, kids peeing beside their toys and my eight month old crawling around it that makes me think twice about the luxury and label myself a glutton for punishment. Besides, wouldn't the possible accidents on the carpet and little tinkles of the floor equal just as much work in the long run?

Going on Day #9 and feeling declined.

Can I Take A Day OFF? PTD # 8

I woke up tired, sore, and in the beginning stages of my period. Though I went to bed at nine my body feels as if I haven't slept in days. I'm dragging, two cups of coffee have yet to help me, the kids are cranky (probably because I'm not up to speed, and I'm trying to think of something to do to get the kids out of the house so that my husband can catch up on a little sleep since he worked til 1 am. All in all, I don't want to potty train today. I just want to put a pull up on my son and little daycare boy and let them go in them. Is that detrimental? Could one day of slacking demise my weeks worth of training? And how do I know when they're potty trained anyway? Is there a sign, a hidden clue, a motherly instinct that will tell me? Does simply asking to use the potty mean they're trained? How about dry pull ups after nap time or an afternoon out? Lack of accidents? Repulsion to diapers? Ability to flush? How will I know?

Do these questions mean I need to read the book? Or...maybe I could work my way through it again and do it on my own....hmmm...lets search the Internet and see what it says.

Have I Really Done It?..Potty Training Day 5

From the start of the week, tackling potty training on the morning after Superbowl (note to self: next time begin potty training after a full nights rest), I thought about giving up, putting it off, and breaking my promise to myself that I would not by another pack of diapers.

Yet, here I am, at the end of my work week, aka Day 5 of training both kids (mine and the little boy I watch)going through all the emotions in my mind. The lows, the highs, and the confidence that I can drop the twenty minute and wait for those words.

"Potty mommy."

At first these words were more of a manipulation. A manipulation to get out of time out, to get another treat, another sticker, another hug, and some time away from his little brother when he was acting up. But now, to my surprise, they're truthful. He speaks and we run, he sits, does his business, puts his seat away, flushes the toilet, and puts the top seat down. That's more than my husband!

It's been only 5 days and we've come so far. It wasn't easy, for me that is, my two year old seemed to think it was a joy (the treats and stickers, and I think his age, helped), and I know we're not at the end of our rope yet but at least I know we're close and that, just as I promised myself at my last trip to Waldbaums, I'm not going to buy another pack of diapers for my 2 year old again.

Now, if I could just say the same for my 8 month old who seems to go through a pack a day.

The Blizzard of '10 Really Did Hit

So, I've given Long Island a hard time. I've made fun of it's snow ways, told it to "Pull up its panties" as it closed the gym and other things around town for a dusting of snow last Saturday, and stated that "Upstate wouldn't have even closed it's schools for what they're calling a massive snow storm." In fairness I am from Upstate, real Upstate, like Syracuse Upstate, not Westchester. And in Upstate we know snow. I've spent winters waking up to a dark sky filled with snow, spending all work day looking out the classroom window at the dark sky filled with snow, and went home, tucking myself in the couch with a warm blanket and bowl of beef stew, and looked out the window at the dark sky filled with snow. I've went days, sometimes months, without sunshine, and I've driven through streets whose snow piles were so high it felt like driving through a tunnel. So when my friends cancel a date because snow has grazed Beech Street and Waldbaum's lines take an hour just to reach the check out I tend to get a little bitter, and alright...maybe I feel a little superior. "Look at these people, are they serious," my husband and I laugh.

But yesterday Long Island gained my respect. The Blizzard of 2010, Snow-pocalypse, hit with a vengeance.

"I have to go to the beach," I said to my husband. "I want to see the waves. I want to take pictures."

"Have a blast," he sarcastically stated, wrapped under a warm, blanket with the kids.

My 16 year old dog, who turns into a young pup in the snow, got a special treat as I strapped on her leash and took her to the 'dog banned' beach.

I snapped pictures of the desolate streets of Park Avenue. I trudged through the unshovled sidewalks, snapped pictures of the now masked stop signs, snow covered hanging tree branches, snow capped fences, and finally, through the sting of the snow, and the 40 minute trek that normally 5, I reached the boardwalk and saw....the beach. At least that's what I know I saw. For anyone else who didn't live here it would have been a blur. The snow was so thick I could barely make out the waves that were crashing high above the jetties (is that how you spell jetties?). Surprisingly there where four other people on the beach with me. One man in a yellow jacket who strolled along, another woman who sat on a snow covered bench and look out on to the water, and another couple, with their dog, building snow men. I snapped and snapped, until my fingers grew numb and my eyes balls began to sting from the snow flakes that seemed to gravitate into my eyes. It took me another 40 minutes to walk home and another 20 to warm up.

And my pictures...well lets just say, the memories of what I saw turned out better than my pictures. Between all the snow flakes you can't make out anything. Guess I'll just have to go back down today and get some "after the storm" pictures. They'll probably be more pretty anyway.

Potty Training Isn't Overnight

Maybe it's his age. Nugget just turned two in December and I'm potty training. Controversial I know. But this potty training isn't happening overnight. Is it his age, my method, or something else?

I know it will come in time, but I honestly don't want to do them steps things. You know, step one switch him to pull ups and practice, step two let him get the hang of the potty at home but keep him in pull ups when we go out, step three break the pull up cycle when we go out but keep them on at night, step four tackle the pull ups at night and prepare to go commando.

In an article I just wrote for Parenting, due our in the May issue, I interviewed Potty Training Expert and author of "Potty Train Your Child In Just One Day," Teri Crane. Her method was a one day diaper swoop, offering a 98% guarantee. In fairness to myself the article I wrote was on planning a potty party, an idea she recommends to successful training that works the first time. I interviewed and wrote about HOW to get your mommy friends together and throw a potty party together. (For my own vanity issues I needed to reiterate this fact in case you're wondering why I'm writing articles about potty training, yet struggling with questions about potty training my own son and day care boy). And now, as I'm in the thick of potty training I'm wondering how her idea would work on my two boys. Would throwing a potty party with their friends, and, okay, an excuse to get some moms to come over and entertain me. Hmmmm, maybe this should be a follow up for the magazines.

Moms, if this peeks your interest, and you'd be willing for you and your child's picture to be in a magazine, send me your info and I'll get back to you.

Asking Questions on Day 3

Obviously overjoyed at my progress last night I went to bed feeling fulfilled, only to wake up at 4 am with questions.

Potty training has turned out easy enough so far, but is that because we've been bound to the house. The cold air and, what Long Island calls, blizzards (I'm from Syracuse, school doesn't even close for these storms)have prevented us from taking any outside destinations. So, since I sign up for every library class they'll let me, and I find any means of getting these kids out of the house, how do I handle the potty training when we're out? Suddenly it seems that diapers might actually be easier.

"What about the trip to Philly in three weeks? Do we keep stopping?"

"No, we put a diaper on him for those," my husband replies, head buried in his pillow.

"But isn't that detrimental? Isn't that confusing him? I think once we're done, we're done."

"Stop. Stop where you are going and worry about it when it gets closer."

"Well, what about the stroller? The walks I take on the boardwalk." Keep in mind I haven't walked the boardwalk in over a year.

"They pee before and then after."

Sure to my husband this sounds easy, but for some reason I can't wrap my finger around it. It's like baby food. No one else seemed to have a problem with the simplicity of introducing rice cereal and baby food, but I did. I struggled over times. Should I give him rice cereal right after his bottle or should I wait? Should I give him baby food and then his bottle for lunch or vice verse?

Regardless, today I'm struggling with questions. Do I take the diaper off him at night too? Do I drive to the store and let him pick out his big boy underwear and toss away all pull ups by the end of the week? Would putting him in a pull up when we went to library class confuse him? Do I need to carry the potty seat with me when I do take them out? And what about these 20 minute intervals? How long until I can start spanning them out of waiting for him to tell me he has to go? Is this what I should be doing now?

Sigh. My head is full of questions that I could probably find in a book, but who has time to read a book? This coming from an author of two potty training articles. If my editor ever read this they'd probably kill me.

I'm Doing It...I'm Doing It...Day 2 of Potty Training

Rewards in life come in all different forms; your first job, your first raise, first promotion, the honeymoon after your wedding, your body after a successful diet, and watching your child start using the potty.

I did this. I'm doing this. Though the morning started off rocky, I wasn't sure I wanted to do it again, afraid of having to bad days in a row, and I procrastinated another hour by creating a potty chart that needed to be hung before I could get started, I ended up pulling it together and having, what I would call, a successful day 2 on the potty.

I set my timer for every 20 minutes, trekked them back to the potty (remember I'm training my son and the 3 year old I do daycare for) and set another timer for 5 minutes, the length of which they had to sit and try.

All in all, I put on my best face, screamed like a lunatic when they went, danced my way to the potty every time, and best of all, I didn't have to fake any of it. Once I saw that what I was doing was working the energy became contagious and I became the kids and my own cheerleader. Yes they were going to the potty, but I was teaching them. I was teaching them. Seems like such a small thing to get excited about, or to say what I'm about to say, but this has honestly been one of the most rewarding things in my life. Trumping my article assignments, career as a writer, being a mother, etc., teaching my son to go on the potty has almost become a liberating experience that has me wanted to jump from the rafters and call my mom.

'Mom, can you believe I did this?' I want to say. "I taught my son how to use the potty." In my mind she'll be so proud.

"Good for you," she'll say when I call her tomorrow morning. "It's not easy honey, but you're doing it."

And she's right. I am doing it. And, frankly, I'm damn good at it. At least I was today.

I Don't Want To Potty Train....I Don't Want To Potty Train

"This is it. This is the last pack of diapers."

At least that's what I told myself when I made a quick trip to Waldbaum's last week for an extra box of diapers.

"Nugget eats fruit faster than it can grow on trees, Meatball's formula hasn't been on sale since before he was born, and I can't seem to get my grocery bill under $250.00"

So if X equals Y and Y says Nugget loves to sit on the potty and could probably be potty trained if I took the time, than Z means....it's time to potty train.

"Monday," I told myself. "I'll conquer Nugget and the little boy I watch together. It will be a Valentine's present for my little boys mom and me."

So there it was, laid out all nice and neat, and then yesterday, Monday, came. I was toast. I may have written two articles on potty training for magazines, but actually DOING the job was a lot different than writing about it. And when I say different I mean....motivating.

The first morning pee in the potty was a success. An M&M was given as a reward. I talked about putting up a chart in the bathroom, stickers, treats, and all the fun things that would motivate them, but slowly, as I struggled with a crying baby on my hip and two boys who would rather run around and bounce off each other than sit down for two minutes, I realized it wasn't the boys who required so much motivation or enthusiasm, it was me. Without my energy, to which I had none since I the day before was the Superbowl and we hosted a Polar Bear/Superbowl party that began at 9 am and ended at 11:30, potty training wasn't going to be much of a success. It wasn't the boys who needed a cheerleader, it was me.

Before lunch I had three successful potties, five attempts and two accidents. By the time they went down for their nap I was spent.

"Alright boys, after your snack We're going to sit on the potty again," I said after their nap.

But that plan was disrupted by an unexpected play date visitor for the kids, and for mommy of course, to which I spent inhaling coffee and complaining about how tired I was from potty training.

Maybe today I'll have more luck. Maybe I should start by making them a chart. Or is this just another excuse to delay my potty training process?

The Superbowl with Julie & Julia

Some of you might enjoy the Superbowl. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the company, food, commercials, and maybe I do get into the game a little bit, but this year was different. This year no wives were invited. No wives other than me, that is.

As a Long Beach tradition started several years ago, hundreds, and what has now become over eight thousand (we even made the Guinness Book of World Records last year), people tromp down to the ocean, strip down to their bathing suits, and run straight into the ocean. The purpose of the Long Beach Polar Bears is to raise money for the Make A Wish foundation, through sign ups and t-shirt/sweatshirt sales, yet more people show up not knowing what the plunge actually means and do it for guts, glamour and glory. And for all, I'm there, standing in the sand, my two children on each hip, cheering them on, wearing gloves, a hat, a scarf and my boots. I might be nuts enough to push a triple stroller to the library and back, but I have enough mental stability to know how bad that cold air will whip against my body the second I emerge out of the ocean..no thank you. But congratulations to those who did.

Regardless of my opinions of jumping in the ocean, I still love the scene and look forward to walking down with the chanting crowd and watching everyone else take the plunge. And being a Long Beach resident means one thing, we're the host of the Polar Bear/Superbowl party. Though this year there were no women. I was 'cool' enough to be allowed to stay, aka I cooked, cleaned and carried towels down to the beach for everyone. So by 7 o'clock, when the kids were finally tucked in bed, I grabbed my keys and coat and ran out the front door, thrilled that my girl party was there to save me from this house of men, who were now outside grilling in the freezing cold.

Feeling privileged as I drove down west and stopped traffic as my friend pulled her car up for that special spot she saved me, the guy behind us swore and sped his tires as he spent another hour or so still searching the area for his spot, I walked into girl wonder. Girl wonder is something that I like to refer to when a girl has a pretty house, no children's toys or crushed raisins embedded in the carpet, no one screaming and the ultimate freedom to decorate or dress like you would if someone was going to climb all over and destroy it.

Choosing a cozy chair and a fuzzy blanket, I curled up with a glass of milk and two homemade Tate's cookies, thanks to my ever loving Girl Wonder, and watched Julie & Julia, a movie that's been on my list since everyone and their mother told me I HAD to see it (aka if a movie has to do with writing or a struggling writer I'm associated in their mind and I HAVE to see it).

Long story short, I liked it. I thought the premise was cute. I loved Meryl Strep as Julia Child. And most important, Girl Wonder and I loved Julia Child's attitude.

"I should start being like Julia," Girl Wonder said through her cocooned blanket wrap.

It was funny. I was thinking the exact same thing. To be that care free, loving, and unaware or uncaring of what people think....how great that must be!

As for Julie, I liked her story. I can say I did relate to one point, I've never finished anything I've started either. And that got me thinking. If writing during the kids nap time never happens because I'm so tired, get engrossed in adult tv, and end up answering everyones phone calls (they know it's the only time they can get me without three screaming children in the back) and writing when the kids go to bed doesn't happen because I'm so tired, I get engrossed in adult tv and my reading, and my husband wants to talk to me without three screaming children in the background, maybe I need to find something else..like writing at 6:30.

Sounds crazy, but if you really want something, and you know you can do it, why not make accommodations and do it? Right?