Mom-stincs

Being a mom has taught me may things, but I think one of the most important things is that I have the power to follow my own instincts and know what to do (something I need to remind myself the next time I talk to a billion moms in the library or spend hours googling something).

Last week I slipped on everything. I have to tell myself it's okay, otherwise the rest of the week will go downhill from guilt. Diet, negative, Movies, negative, Reading, negative, Writing, negative, Potty training, negative. I could give myself the excuse of the monthly visit that wiped me out, made me binge on Nutella and pretzels, caused me to be short and irritable with my husband, and slacked on encouraging my son to use the potty. But as of Saturday morning I was going to put it all behind me.

When Nugget was 5 months old I decided to switch him from a bottle to a sippy cup. I put water in it and let him play with it. I added formula from hoping to entice him. And, when all of the frustration of trying hit me, I got it. Why am I playing games with a bottle and sippy cup? If I want him to learn something shouldn't I just do it? Wasn't all the switching confusing him? How was he supposed to learn what I wanted him to do if I wasn't consistent with what I wanted him to do? So one morning I woke up, but my breast milk in his cup and sat patiently on the couch while he played with the sippy cup spout and figured it out. By the end of that day, he'd gotten the concept and I packed up the bottles for good. It was as easy as that. Done in a day.

The same theory hit me Saturday. If I'm telling Nugget to use the potty, bringing him back and forth, and screaming and yelling when he goes, but then I'm putting him in Pull Ups and Diapers from time to time how was I showing him what I wanted him to learn? So, just like I learned with the sippy cup, I whipped the diaper off his bottom the second he woke up and kept him 'naked under his pants' (that's what my horrified mother calls it)and let him figure it out on his own. Was there accidents? Sure. But by Sunday, the next day, we had not one. Not only did I leave him without any protection I let him feel for himself when he needed to go and when he didn't. I no longer asked if he had to use the potty. I no longer set a timer and remind him when to go, though I did tell him when I was using the potty to see if he wanted to go with, which he did, I let him tell me when he had to go, and I let him go by himself. I no longer went in with him and stood watching him go. He did his business and tell me to come 'look' when he finished. The independence seemed to inspire him more, and by the end of the day I was confident, just like with the bottles, that I'd done what I needed and Nugget 'had' the concept.

If we're finished with accidents and potty setbacks I'm not sure, but today we're on our way to but underwear and diaper free days. And all because I trusted my instincts and took the enabler mom routine away. If only getting myself in this routine could be that easy. I'd have me play finished in no time.