The Worm Has Landed..Into My Liqour Cabinet

Holy Mary of Mayhem is childproofing hard. I mean, I know it's hard, but until the process starts and you actually take a look at all the things your child will get into do you realize how hard.
Regretfully we hadn't started baby proofing our apartment yet. I know we should have, and yes I got the emails from BabyCenter two months ago urging mothers to begin baby proofing now, before the baby starts to crawl and get into things, but I was too busy. Busy doing what I'm not sure. But the point is my son who was just worming his way around last week has seemed to sprung into a centipede over night. Almost as soon as I let him down on the ground he's racing his little butt across the floor and to the computer cords, Cable Vision box (he likes to pull out the card), or the coffee table. How this happened so quickly I'm not sure. Shouldn't there have been a delay? A slight process to the crawling regime that prepares parents ahead of time? Apparently BabyCenter knows more than I do, and I suspect, if any of their editors were ever to read this they'd probably laugh and say "Told ya so."
It is cute though. The way his little butt scoots around, pops up in the air and wiggles side to side to get to where he's going, or the way he followed me into the bathroom the other morning for the first time and surprised his father who was singing to him from in there as well-no not at the same time! How horrible of a mother do you think I am? Not that I'm in the bathroom with his father, but that I'd just leave him crawling around without supervision. Because if that were true I wouldn't have caught the liquor bottles that my son decided to reach up and knock down yesterday. That's right, he's only 9 months old and my husband and I are already having to hide our stash. Oh and the dog's dish. He likes to scoot his little self on over and splash his hands in the dog's water bowl, while the dog is eating out of her food bowl mind you. I have to give kudos to our dog who simply takes a break from her food to look at him and then glance up with me with that face that says, "Seriously?"
So we've got the liquor cabinet, the dog's dish, the Cable Vision card, glass coffee table, computer wires and bathroom cabinets to lock up this Saturday (my husbands off-woohoo!)but everyday I seem to find so much more. I forgot about the plug covers we'll need for the outlets, the crib that now needs to be lowered, the toilet seat that needs to be locked down (can't wait to see my husband try and leave the toilet seat up now-guess there are similarities between baby proofing and husband proofing)and the millions of cute items I have around the house that can no longer be for the time being.
Oh and did I mention I had a dream that my son was slipping through the porch railings from our second floor apartment? Needless to say, we'll have to figure out a way to cover the large gap in the bottom of them as well.
Ahh, child proofing. What will be next? Giving away my Prada purse, the only label I own..that reminds me I think someone told me I could sell it on eBay and use the cash to get a new one..hmmmm?