Anxiety Follow Up

So, you've read my anxiety encountered train escapade and you're wondering-is she crazy? Did she make it? Was she alright?
Yes, I am crazy-always have been, but that's what makes me so great. And yes, I made it and was alright. I didn't throw up, pee my pants, or have massive diarrhea. Instead I got caught up in the old city the I love, had a delicious meal, a wonderful evening, laughed and got a great start on Just Water.
Standing in the subway, waiting for the 1 train to pick me up later that evening, made me think about my early experience. I felt so different now. Positive. Happy. Assured. I didn't think anyone was going to steal my phone, or that I would die. If anything I stood there, lost in my thoughts, and reflected on how much my life had changed. My life in LI, as a mother and wife, seemed so far away from me at that moment. I felt like me again. Me the writer, adventurer, quirky character and vibrant girl. Yes, I was very happy with my son and my life at home, but in all my June Cleaverness I forgot about me.
As I looked down at my ripped jeans, old flip flops and plain brown t-shirt, I thought back to the girl who used to love to dress. Just for the fun of it-and most importantly the feel of it. You know that feeling ladies. A great pair of jeans, hair-do or outfit can make you feel like you rule the city. Now my long curly hair is always in a bun, since my son's obsessed with pulling it, I never wear make-up, something I never would have left the house without-especially when you look at these dark circles and pale coloring, and cute shoes were my delicacy-now I strictly wear flip-flops, sneakers, lets be honest dress shoes don't exactly complement my sweats.
I know it sounds selfish, but what about me? I give everyone 24 hours of my day, isn't there 2 hours that could be just for me? After all, I might have had-and still do have-the vision of June Cleaver in my head, but in my head June Cleaver's hair is done, outfits are sharp and shoes are cute. Is there a reason why I can't manage to incorporate this in my life?
Maybe I'll spend today sorting through my clothes and finding some cute, suitable, outfits that I can play dress up in-even if I'm just around the house. Wait, I have to feed Nugget breakfast, take him for a play date with three other kids next door, walk to the Farmer's Market, make dinner, pick up the license plates from my car, make some follow up phone calls, arrange what day I can meet with a photographer for an article I'm doing on the NYC cart stands next week, give my son a bath, do laundry, and oh-forget it-who has time to look for clothes! Or get a hair cut, did I mention that my hair is inching closer and closer to my butt every week? I'm officially a mess. I need a mom intervention over here.