The Happiness Project

Is it me or is EVERYONE coming out with a book on what they did to make themselves happy, or what they did to find their purpose?

The Happiness Project, a book about a woman (who was a lawyer, comes from money, has a happy marriage, two daughters and family next door to her, that she likes)who spends a year figuring out what she, and you, can do to make happiness exist everyday. One of the examples she gives, "Make your bed every morning."

This got me thinking, I should pay attention to my made bed. If there's a day that the morning gets to hectic and runs into the afternoon/evening and I find myself walking into my bedroom at night, haggard and preparing to plummet my body under the sheets, I should write it down. Day 1=bad day. Bed not made. And if there's a day where everything goes perfect, the kids are happy, I get my writing done, the house is spotless, my husband does the dinner dishes (well at least puts his plate in the sink), I should write that down. Day 2=Mary Poppins like day. Bed made.

I know, I'm a bit grumpy this morning. Truthfully I do get the message about starting the day off with a made bed, my grandmother embedded this in my head years ago. Even after long hard days the one good thing that makes me relax is walking into my nice clean bedroom (my haven as said in Feng Shu)pulling back my crisp sheets and settling down with a book, instead of looking around, worrying about all the things I didn't do along with all the things I need to do. I guess I'm just bitter about the self-help trend that seems to be taking over the book shelves, and my New York Times Book Review section. The Julie&Julia Project, the book about the woman who lived a year of her life doing what Oprah said, and so many more haunt me. What happened to my lovely chick flick books? The ones that made you giggle, smile and read through it in less than a week. The one's you couldn't wait to talk about with your girlfriends and pass along.

I'm sorry, but after a long day taking care of children, a dog, and a husband, the last thing I want to do is read a book that attempts to cover why I have spats of unhappiness, or sit down with my cup of tea and frozen grapes, excited to read the last section of my favorite Sunday section, and find out that The Happiness Project took up the front and middle section. You want to know why I'm happy about your project lady? Maybe because your telling me to start my day off by making my bed, meanwhile you have a housekeeper and nanny taking care of yours. If I'm about to take happiness advice from a happiness writer it certainly isn't going to be from someone telling me to do something she's not.

Ah, now I feel better.

My Achilles Heel..The Bathroom

I clean it, it gets dirty.

I scrub the tub, the children have pasta for dinner and leave an orange ring. I scrub again.

I mop the floor, Nugget has a pee-pee spill that looms out of the toilet. I mop again.

I sweep the floor, Nugget and Meatball walk into the room after lunch or dinner trekking the cheerios or mac-n-cheese that stuck to their shirt. I sweep again.

I hang a hand towel, the children wipe their hands and it falls on the floor. I hang it again.

I clean the sink, my husband brushes his teeth and leaves spit marks around the bowl. I scrub again.

I clean the toilet, my husband seems to miss and leaves drops around the ring. I clean it again, Nugget leaves drops around the ring. I clean it again, daycare boy misses and spreads pee around the seat. I clean it again.

I change a diaper, the dog pulls it out of the waste bin and pulls it apart. I clean, sweep and mop again. By the time that's done, someone has pooped again.

Repeat the above steps.....every day of the week. I ask the bathroom gods, "Will my hosue ever be clean?"

To Cute For Words

So, I have to gloat, not about my 2 pd weight loss that I've been working hard on (no diet secret here, just exercise and eating right, yuck), or the perfect check-up my two sons got at Dr. Cohen's, or the fact that Nugget is officially, that's right officially, a diaper-free potty trained toddler, =), but about how cute my little one looks in his new underwear. To on lookers it might seem strange that I'm talking about my son in underwear and not about the successful potty training that I spend two weeks blogging about, but I can't help it. Seeing his cute little butt in underwear that are just a tad to big, they don't make 24 month old underwear, unless I'm not looking in the right spot, is more gratifying than seeing his pee-pee in the potty.

Due to my husband's desperation, and harsh threats, I've opted not to post a picture of his cute booty in his Handy Manny and Mickey Mouse underwear. But I can't tell you how much I wish I could. If you could see his little toosh you'd want to bite it. Seriously. And, up until yesterday's talking to, I'd shown all of Dr.Cohen's staff, my mom friends at the library, the woman upstairs, everyone who can receive a picture message in my address book, and of course a few pictures on my camera to which I plan on sending to my family and my husbands. Today, so I can blame the time on happening before my husband put his foot down on not exposing our son, I'm uploading the camera pictures and sending them off to my in-laws. I can just see my mother-in-laws face, not amused. Inside it makes me giggle. I can't help it, after all I've spent several blogs just talking about my immaturity, so she can't be that surprised.

For Nuggets first Christmas card, I chose a delicate, yet characteristic photo of my little man baring all. Trust me, I'd spent weeks finding the perfect Christmas photo outfit, gone down to the beach for the perfect 'we live on the beach' Christmas shot, listened to a neighbors instructions and drove to Fortunoff to take a picture of him in every display possible, and even ruined my friends antique irreplaceable ornament taking pictures of him in front of her picturesque tree. But ultimately I favored the side of immaturity and chose a favorite picture of mine, Nugget standing next to the tub, flinging his towel into the water. His little dimply butt exposed to the world, and his face revealing a devilish side. I loved it! 100 of my friends and relatives opened their holiday mail to my son's bare-all pre-Chippendale photo. My mother-in-laws response, "They're going to arrest you."

So now, as I prepare to send her my son's new covered Handy Manny bottom, I can't help but smile and wonder what she'll say when she calls. But more importantly I can't wait for my husband to loosen his hold so I can drop my sons pants to the floor, sharing with everyone my son's cute new butt covered underwear. Ahh, its the little things that make you proud to be a mom. Man how I wish I could show you!

Mom-stincs

Being a mom has taught me may things, but I think one of the most important things is that I have the power to follow my own instincts and know what to do (something I need to remind myself the next time I talk to a billion moms in the library or spend hours googling something).

Last week I slipped on everything. I have to tell myself it's okay, otherwise the rest of the week will go downhill from guilt. Diet, negative, Movies, negative, Reading, negative, Writing, negative, Potty training, negative. I could give myself the excuse of the monthly visit that wiped me out, made me binge on Nutella and pretzels, caused me to be short and irritable with my husband, and slacked on encouraging my son to use the potty. But as of Saturday morning I was going to put it all behind me.

When Nugget was 5 months old I decided to switch him from a bottle to a sippy cup. I put water in it and let him play with it. I added formula from hoping to entice him. And, when all of the frustration of trying hit me, I got it. Why am I playing games with a bottle and sippy cup? If I want him to learn something shouldn't I just do it? Wasn't all the switching confusing him? How was he supposed to learn what I wanted him to do if I wasn't consistent with what I wanted him to do? So one morning I woke up, but my breast milk in his cup and sat patiently on the couch while he played with the sippy cup spout and figured it out. By the end of that day, he'd gotten the concept and I packed up the bottles for good. It was as easy as that. Done in a day.

The same theory hit me Saturday. If I'm telling Nugget to use the potty, bringing him back and forth, and screaming and yelling when he goes, but then I'm putting him in Pull Ups and Diapers from time to time how was I showing him what I wanted him to learn? So, just like I learned with the sippy cup, I whipped the diaper off his bottom the second he woke up and kept him 'naked under his pants' (that's what my horrified mother calls it)and let him figure it out on his own. Was there accidents? Sure. But by Sunday, the next day, we had not one. Not only did I leave him without any protection I let him feel for himself when he needed to go and when he didn't. I no longer asked if he had to use the potty. I no longer set a timer and remind him when to go, though I did tell him when I was using the potty to see if he wanted to go with, which he did, I let him tell me when he had to go, and I let him go by himself. I no longer went in with him and stood watching him go. He did his business and tell me to come 'look' when he finished. The independence seemed to inspire him more, and by the end of the day I was confident, just like with the bottles, that I'd done what I needed and Nugget 'had' the concept.

If we're finished with accidents and potty setbacks I'm not sure, but today we're on our way to but underwear and diaper free days. And all because I trusted my instincts and took the enabler mom routine away. If only getting myself in this routine could be that easy. I'd have me play finished in no time.

A Sticker In And Out Of The Diaper

As a potty reward Nugget and my daycare boy get a sticker and an M&M. This is a great incentive for them.

And as of this morning I realized its a great incentive for Meatball, my 8 month old, as well. Changing his dirty diaper I noticed something on his bottom. I wiped, but it stuck. I wiped again, still stuck. I touched it, pulled it, and then peeled it off. What was it? Oh, just a dog sticker that Nugget had received yesterday and proudly placed on his shirt.

Apparently my little man got hold of it and decided he could use a reward as well.Funny how the acids in his stomach didn't damage it at all.

All You Need Is Pee

"Mommy, I poop on potty."

These five glorious words were the first ones my son utter this morning.

"You have to use the potty!"

"Yeah," he smiled, proudly running to the bathroom to sit on his throne.

And sure enough, there was pee. A lot of pee!

"I'm so proud of you," I beamed.

Inside I thought, this is it. This was my boost to get me back on track after a non-consistent potty day, due to my exhaustion and lack of motivation, yesterday. We're back on track, and taking one day off didn't impact my child as much as I worried it would.

I still never got around to looking into any of my potty training books, donated from authors who I've written articles on, or searching the Internet for potty training tips, and I still don't have much energy to tackle the potty again today. But I did find out why potty training for me might be a little harder than others, despite training two kids at once and dealing with an 8 month old who screams and carries on every time I put him down to put his brother on the potty, I've kept the potty in the bathroom, have gotten both boys to use the adult potty (easier clean up)but I have to pick them up to put them on and off every time, and taken all diapers and pull ups off leaving them "naked under their clothes," as my mother referred to it in horror yesterday.

"Your crazy," Baby Guru told me. "Put the potties in the living room, keep their pants off and let them go when they need to go."

In theory this sounds much easier. No trips carrying them over the living room gate, no on and off the potty, no on and off of pants, and extra laundry trips for the accidents, and no work on my part at all really, besides a little motivation, reminders and treats trips. But there's something about a potty on my living room rug, kids peeing beside their toys and my eight month old crawling around it that makes me think twice about the luxury and label myself a glutton for punishment. Besides, wouldn't the possible accidents on the carpet and little tinkles of the floor equal just as much work in the long run?

Going on Day #9 and feeling declined.

Can I Take A Day OFF? PTD # 8

I woke up tired, sore, and in the beginning stages of my period. Though I went to bed at nine my body feels as if I haven't slept in days. I'm dragging, two cups of coffee have yet to help me, the kids are cranky (probably because I'm not up to speed, and I'm trying to think of something to do to get the kids out of the house so that my husband can catch up on a little sleep since he worked til 1 am. All in all, I don't want to potty train today. I just want to put a pull up on my son and little daycare boy and let them go in them. Is that detrimental? Could one day of slacking demise my weeks worth of training? And how do I know when they're potty trained anyway? Is there a sign, a hidden clue, a motherly instinct that will tell me? Does simply asking to use the potty mean they're trained? How about dry pull ups after nap time or an afternoon out? Lack of accidents? Repulsion to diapers? Ability to flush? How will I know?

Do these questions mean I need to read the book? Or...maybe I could work my way through it again and do it on my own....hmmm...lets search the Internet and see what it says.